Oh Boy, Oh Boy

I am officially out numbered for the foreseeable future.

I mean, I totally understand that I have been the out-numbered gender for 2 1/2 years now, however for quite some time Pearce was really only half a person because frankly, he couldn't talk much and still thought I was the coolest milk provider there ever was. Snuggling was his favorite past time and my ability to make him laugh brought out a sort of "bowl full of jelly" notion in the kiddo. About a year ago, all of that changed. He's a boy now, and boys would much rather run through the house channeling their inner Superman. Tools are the best playmate right now and the only snuggling he wants to do involves wrestling with his daddy.


He is wild and bossy. And I love every minute of it.


Having said that, there was a small part of me that wondered if my Transformers and Trains play dates would soon be softened by the aroma of freshly brewed pretend tea and crumpets. Floppy hats and bunny rabbits would be sitting next to our Hot Wheels. Instead, last week's doc appointment revealed two things: 1.) I am gonna have to figure out a way to rock the whole soccer mom stereotype and 2.) My hubby and I are about to embark on the adventure of one - on- one defense in the realm of raising little boys.


We are pretty excited. Other than the Great Name Debate, we are happy as larks. (More on that in a later post .)


First, let me tell you about our blessed appointment time.


We knew our appointment last week came with the probability that we would see Baby Brann's gender so we sent out invitations to the appointment. Unfortunately, our UPS man was busy. Our dry-cleaner felt we were getting too personal and my favorite checkout lady at Target had to work. Luckily Emily and Jon weren't offended by our invite so they popped in for the great gender reveal, which turned out to be a good thing because someone had to keep my mom from asking too many questions.


There were six of us crammed into the exam room and I think Dr. S may have been a little shocked to be greeted with such gusto. As many family events turn out, it was a bit chaotic at first. After we all shuffled into the room, it took about ten minutes of stepping over one another to get everyone situated.

And then came the common disruption that comes with all girl families:


Emily: Crud. I have to go to the bathroom. Do you think I have time?


Mom: Didn't you just go? You had better hurry. Go on...


Emily: No, I can wait.


Mom: Emily, you don't want to wait! I mean, this could take about 30 minutes or so. What if the baby won't cooperate?


Me: Mom, it won't take 30 minutes to do an ultrasound. Emily, just go on and we will make sure he waits until you are back.


Emily flinging open the exam room door...bumping into someone...


Emily: Oh, hey! Are you coming in here now?


Dr. S: I am, do I need to come back?


Emily: Well, I just need to go to the bathroom. Don't do anything major while I am gone.


Dr S: Why don't I just come back in a few minutes?


Strike. Oh yes doctor, please come back at a more convenient time. We are busy filing our nails and trying on lipstick right now. Give us ten more minutes please.

 Knock on the door and entrance of Dr. S again.


Dr S: Whoa! This is quite a group!

Me: Oh, this is nothing. Just wait until delivery. The paparazzi simply doesn't have boundaries when it comes to me. Ummm, do you wear contacts?


Dr S: No I don't, why?


Me: Well, if you did I just wanted to make sure they were clean. I would hate for a speck on your contact to be mistaken for a baby boy part or something.


Dr S: Does this mean you want a girl?

Me: No! We really don't care. I would just hate to go a month or so thinking that there was a little penis growing inside me, only to find out you were wrong. Ya know, I need to be prepared for such changes.


Dr S: Well, let's take a look. (insert jelly goo on my stomach here) Ah....I already know what it is.


Me: It's a boy, isn't it?! Is there a circumcision in my future?!


Dr S: Well, I am trying to get a better look... yep there it is. Let's just say that if I wore contacts, there would be a speck in my eye.


Insert laughs, cheers, and ahhhhs from my family.


I, however, was panic - stricken. Two boys? I am officially in over my head.


But after a Diet Dr. Pepper and some time with sweet Pearce, I realized that I can totally be the mom of two boys. There is most certainly a minivan in my future, but I can do this.


And there are a few perks as well :

1. I will never hear myself saying, "No, that shirt doesn't make you look fat" to my boys.

2. I won't have to share my shoes. Or my lipstick.

3. I will never take out the trash again.

4. And lastly, I've always felt somewhat masculine...particularly during pregnancy. Now I have an excuse.