Happy Everything From Our Family to Yours!

Idealism in Reality

I have a confession to make: I think I am a bit of an idealist.

For example, I subscribe to seven magazines. Seven. No, those are not typos. I really do subscribe to seven magazines. In all fairness to me, four of them are gift subscriptions. The other three are crammed full of information I am certain I will need to know at some point.

I love getting them in the mail. I earmark the pages. I circle ideas. I even have a binder of Parenting ideas that I want to keep in mind. I scour these publications in hopes there will be some tidbit of information to make my life easier. Something that will change my life forever. I love the gift ideas I get in these magazines.  They would be so fun in a perfect world, one where you can give as generously as you would like. For example, one magazine suggested giving a $300 cashmere scarf to your girlfriends. Another had a cool Kate Spade iPad cover. I imagined myself handing them over to my gal pals, perfectly wrapped in brown paper and twine. They would open the gift and, "Gasp! You shouldn't have! But this goes perfect with the iPad you got me last year. You are so thoughtful!"

Headlines such as" Your Most Stylish Year Yet!”, "How to Raise a Grateful Kid", and "How to Know you’re Amazing in Bed" (I am not making that one up) pull me in as I continue my never-ending quest of "fabulous at everything-ness".

Once when I was little I decided that I would be married by the age of 23 years old. It seemed like a good number to me, the age of my parents when they got married. Wouldn't that be romantic? To be married at the same age as your parents? And you know what? I was married at the age of 23.

But idealism simply isn't working out for me.

This is tough for me to admit because I consider myself pretty grounded. Realistic, even. But as time goes by, and I am haunted by life's curveballs, I find myself shocked. Pouting. Whining to myself, "But that's not the way it was supposed to turn outtttttttttt."

I need a mute button.

Our original Baby Brann due date is quickly approaching. When we lost the little one, I found comfort in the expectation that by the time January 25th rolls around, I will surely be well into another pregnancy. Because that's the way it works, right? I imagined myself as one of those women who sits rocking in the baby's new room...thankful for the little life growing inside her...Finally at peace with the loss of the previous unborn child because without that loss, she wouldn't be expecting the perfect darling soon to arrive.

Well folks, it's December, and much to my chagrin, there is no little life inside me.

Let me explain the history behind my expectation for immediate pregnancy gratification:

Pearce was a total surprise for us. We weren't trying. In fact, we were in the beginning stages of international adoption. We began our adoption application in November 2007. December 2007 rolled around and presented us with a shocking, even terrifying New Year's Eve reality: we were going to be parents. In nine months.

Fast forward to 2010. Jimmy and I decided we wanted another little one. I got pregnant the first month we tried. When we miscarried in June, the doctor said to wait one month and try again. In August, I was pregnant again. Naturally, I was a bit over confident. I mean, I don't intend to brag here but I was feeling pretty darned good about my fertility. So...based on previous experiences one would assume another attempt to grow our family would be well under way. Naturally.

You would be wrong, my friends.

I am beginning to think that pregnancy and I don't have a healthy relationship right now. Each month I am pretty level-headed...until ovulation week. At that point I turn into a paranoid, calendar watching, neurotic as I monitor unmentionable things in hopes of bettering our chances of conception. Once that week passes, I count down the days until I can take a pregnancy test.

And can we just pause a moment to discuss the ridiculous price of pregnancy tests? I mean, I literally spend a small fortune on these things. What's worse? The fact that I essentially put $20 a month in the trash. For no good reason. Because I am not pregnant.

I consider myself pretty reasonable. I am for the most part, practical. But all that changes when you are trying to have a baby. (Well...that and romance. But that's another post.) Each month my Reason, Practicality, and $20 in pregnancy tests hold hands. They put on my red lipstick and walk right out the door. I always envied reasonable, practical people.

But I know my day will come. One day I will be the one wearing red lipstick and holding hands with my new friends Reason and Practicality. Because that's what happens when you get the desires of your heart. You become more reasonable, right? Probably not.

One desire of my heart that I must mention is someone I couldn't love more if I tried: Precious Pearce. This kiddo really is a doll. It's funny, but when I think about how he came to be, I have to smile at the Lord's cleverness. Here I have the dearest little man I could ever ask for, and I didn't even have to ask. The Lord just brought him to us unexpectedly.

He's fun and compassionate. He's healthy. He makes me laugh. He's bright and clever. He is beautiful. And he is real.

Maybe reality isn't so bad after all. :)

Black Friday Frenzy...

I did it. I went shopping on Black Friday. And not just any shopping, but a get up at the crack of dawn - brush your teeth and possibly your hair - kind of shopping. It was awesome and I intend to do it again.

First, let me say that there was absolutely nothing on my list that required a bolt to the stores in the wee hours of the morning...but I chose to go anyways 'cause any gal who is a serious shopper needs to go at least once in her life. And I totally made my mama proud.

It all started Thursday night. Jimmy's mom Patty, and myself had decided we were going to be 'those women' this year and go out early. In the midst of mapping out our route and perusing the Black Friday ads, we got a little bonus. Much to our surprise, some stores open before Black Friday. Gasp! Can you believe it? We did. And we were super pumped.  We decided to go for it. Toys R Us opened at 10pm on Thursday night so we thought, "What the heck?! Let's go." We loaded up on extra carbs (my excuse for that third helping of mashed potatoes), cranked on the coffee, and bundled up in our most intimidating "get out of my way" attire.

As we pulled into the parking lot, we grew a little concerned. Would you believe that hundreds of other women had the same idea we did? I mean, I consider myself a tough driver. I have driven in Dallas plenty of times and I even drive in New Jersey at least once a year. You would think I could handle a little parking lot traffic. Wrong. These people were out for blood. Parking spots were suddenly treated like Starbucks coffees on a Monday morning...the concept of a Christmas Spirit was totally eliminated, and I swear I even saw some women develop a nervous twitch while searching for spots.

Patty and I began to wonder what on earth we had missed. Were they giving away real babies this year or something? Was there a second time black Friday-er tax credit this year? Was Rob Pattison supposed to make an appearance? I mean, what in the world could cause these family women to snarl at one another?

I'll tell you what...Rock. Bottom. Prices. That's what.

Patty and I tiptoed up to the line to see how bad the wait was. We were greeted by a number of suspicious stares and a couple of downright hateful looks. The hateful looks were followed by a panicked slur of women telling us where the back of the line was. (As if we didn't know). Those Crazies were inadvertently accusing us of contemplating a little cutting in line. And frankly, I seriously considered it just because I would totally be amused by the kickback to third grade type of tattle-telling that was sure to follow. But, Patty is a fair woman...and I knew she wouldn't let me so I kept my cool.

As we looked at the line, we learned that it not only wrapped around the entire complex...but also wove across the street. Huh? I was pretty certain there was a residential type road behind the building. I immediately began to wonder what the line of shoppers did when someone was trying to drive through the neighborhood. I suppose the line parted like the Red Sea, which is appropriate because clearly this was a religious experience for many of these people.

After about ten minutes of standing outside, we both realized we had officially become just like the prices we were hoping to get. We too, had hit rock bottom. There we were : two educated, intelligent women and we were standing in the freezing cold, staring face to face with a bunch of territorial neurotics who had clearly been standing in line for hours just to save 50% on Polly Pockets. And much like the Thanksgiving turkey we enjoyed earlier that day, we were done. So we left.

We later learned that the police were dispatched because people were trying to cut in line. What are we? Five years old? I can only imagine how that 911 call went...I suppose it went something like this:

"911. What is your emergency?"
"Yes, I need the police out here. People are trying to cut me in line!"
"Someone is cutting you in your spine? Are you in a safe place?"
"No. They are cutting me in line. I am at Toys R Us in line to go shopping."
"Your boys are a mess and your spine is popping?"

And so on, and so on. Because no one in their right mind would call the police about line hopping. But hey, this is the monster we have created. And I am officially proud to be an American on nights like this.

Not to be defeated by our recent reality check, I had the brilliant idea to look online to see if the advertised prices carried over. And you know what? Many of them did. As I sat there in my warm PJ's, next to my sweet and slumbering husband, I shopped Black Friday prices in the comfort of home. I had to chuckle as I thought of all the teeth chattering, panic stricken, and dirty look casting people in line at Toys R Us. I seriously thought about delivering cups of hot chocolate to the masses, coupled with napkins imprinted with my online Toys R Us receipt. Luckily, I thought better of it.

Friday morning was a much more pleasant experience for us. We hit Target at 7am...a solid three hours after it had opened. The Crazies were already home ... probably hugging their shopping sacks tightly as they rocked back and forth, humming their own rendition of "Don't Stop Believin". The shelves were still stocked pretty darned full and we were actually able to walk right up to the checkout lanes. Another added bonus? The store associates were no longer laying face first on the floor and were able to help us locate what we were searching for. (Store employee roadkill is a common Black Friday causality).

The lesson we learned? Black Friday prices are totally worth a trip to the store. Having said that, I might just be plotting my midnight shopping online next year. I am still having flashbacks to Thursday night ... but those fears are waned each time I look at my ToysRUs.com sales receipt. Smile.

DAY TWENTY-ONE

I am thankful that I have so much to be thankful for.

When I first began this "Thankfulness Commitment", I honestly worried that I would be grasping for straws as I found new things to write about. Friends and family have also asked me if it is difficult to think of what each day's topic will be, and the answer surprised me. It has been exceptionally easy for me to come up with each day's thankfulness topic. Each day, The Lord has laid something new on my heart. And that is what I write about. In fact, I sort of find myself scrambling and wishing I had added something else to my list. In retrospect, this 21 days could've easily been 31 days, or 51, or any other number of blessings I allow myself to acknowledge. The truth is: we are all blessed in so many ways. It is the measure that we use to count these blessings that sets us apart. I know people who have very little, but are so grateful. I know others who have much, yet are discontent. And I have often bounced from one side of the fence to the other.

My prayer is that these past 3 weeks will be the start of a new chapter in my life...one of a grateful heart. As I wrap up this endeavor, I have to smile at all the sweet things the Lord has brought to my heart. While we still live in world of hurt and loss, I have so much gain.

And for that, I am thankful.

Lord, thank you for speaking to my heart these past weeks. Your blessings overflow and while I often forget to say it, thank you. You are so good to me.

DAY TWENTY

I am thankful for praise and worship music.

 

I am thankful for the way praise and worship speaks to my heart. I love that I can be having a rough morning and be lifted by a song. I love that my good days are made better by joyful music. And I love that there is a consistent comfort in familiar worship music. The Lord speaks to me often through such music and I am so grateful for that.

Here's the deal: I am not a great singer. I can carry a tune in a bucket, but that is the extent of this gal's vocal endeavors. But I love to sing. If I could ask the Lord for one talent, it would be singing because I always love to hear the music of others. And I often try to imitate that music. But I will never be able to sing in front of a crowd. In fact, some of my best singing is done in the shower where the running water muffles my vocals.  I love that my imperfect vocals still make a joyful noise to the Lord.

I am thankful for my iPod and the fact that I can shuffle my praise and worship music to mix it up. Praise and worship often puts my heart in the right place.  Car rides pass more quickly. Long days are suddenly shortened. And cleaning house becomes less of a chore.

And I love the truth that Pearce has learned through praise and worship. Did you know that kiddo can say hallelujah? Pretty special. The Drake's got Pearce a personalized praise CD for his second Christmas...we listen to this alot. The music actually has his name in it and he loves hearing "Jesus Loves Pearce". He is two, and knows Jesus loves him. The joy that brings my heart is more than I could have imagined. We often rock out to his little CD and I am grateful that there is music out there for little ears to hear.

Lord, thank you for the blessing of worship to You. Thank you for the talent of others and for their calling to spread Your Word through music. Thank you for allowing me to live in place where I am free to sing to you whenever I want.

DAY NINETEEN

I am thankful for my job. 

 Being a working mom is never an easy task. In fact, making the choice to continue my career was a tough decision but my company has consistently supported my need for balance and for that, I am grateful. I get to work part time and still be with my sweet boy. That is such a blessing.  I totally take it for granted that I work for a great company, with great people, and for a product I believe in.

So let me start with my co-workers. They simply crack me up, while at the same time, I respect them. The cast of characters you will find at our company meetings are certainly worth mentioning. My co-workers are sharp, motivated individuals who are always willing to share ideas and help a girl out. I am grateful that even on the worst days, I have friends at work. I also work with the dearest group of agents. They are not only my agents, but they too have become my friends and confidants. They came to the hospital when Pearce was born, sent meals after my car accident, and have loved on me through our miscarriages. I have been blessed by these relationships in so many ways.

I am thankful for the material benefits of my job. I have a company car and that has been such a blessing for Jimmy and I. I started working for Chubb right before Jimmy's paid off, older car had seen better days. We knew that a replacement was in our future...we just didn't know when. I am thankful for the Lord's providence over our lives and for bringing us this opportunity at just the right time.  I am thankful that I have gotten to visit some great places through my career with Chubb. Business trips have taken me to places like New Orleans, Park City, Austin, New York City, and Tampa Bay. While being away from home is never easy, seeing different places have always made the trips easier.

And I am thankful that I even have a job in this economy. We always have enough and the Lord has continued to provide for our lives. I have a job...that I enjoy. I work with great people. I am so grateful.

Lord, thank you for providing me the opportunity to work. Thank you for the friendships, lessons, and opportunities my career has afforded our family. Thank you for leading me to a company that supports my need to be with Pearce. You are so good.

DAY EIGHTEEN

I am thankful for (sigh) Facebook.

Okay, don't judge me yet. I have a very acceptable explanation for including FB on my list. For many of us, Facebook can be a serious time-waster. We creep on people's pages and we become discontent when comparing our life with others'. Having said that, there are a lot of wonderful things about Facebook. So let me put it this way: it is not FB itself that I am thankful for, rather what it represents. 

I am thankful for the connections I have through Facebook.

For instance, I have always dreaded the concept of attending my high school reunion. I mean, I sort of felt like that part of my life was over and I was happy for that. High school was a time of insecurity, uncertainty, and pressure. Frankly, I was not too hip on the idea of revisiting all those insecurities. The thought of having dinner and drinks with a bunch of people I hadn't seen or talked to in ten years seemed a bit absurd to me.

That was before Facebook came along.

Thanks to Facebook, I had reunited with many people from my graduating class well before the reunion rolled around. My classmates and I had commented on eachother's pictures, congratulated one another for family additions, and even chatted online...all through Facebook. It allowed us to pull down any stereotypes or barriers that often come with high school relationships. By the time our invitations went out, I was eager to see so many people from my class...people I didn't take the time to really 'know' in high school.
In a way, FB has offered some sort of security blanket for many of us. We can befriend those we never truly did, but secretly wish we would have. We can look up old elementary school classmates. We can find old teachers. And we can stay in touch with others as our lives drive us geographically apart. I am so thankful for that.

I am thankful that I can keep up with old and new friends alike through one source. I love seeing pictures of my friends' kiddos everyday. I love that I know when someone is newly engaged, married, or pregnant. I love that we get to celebrate with one another through words of encouragement and congratulations. And I am thankful for the warm fuzzy feeling that FB connections often provide. Little things like a picture comment, wall post, or personal message let you know that people care about you...quite a bit more than we could imagine.

So today, I am grateful for so many people that I get to 'see' online everyday. I am grateful for the encouragement, advice and laughs that FB connections provide.

Lord, thank you for those that I have reunited with through Facebook. Thank you for the re-flourished friendships and for the new ones altogether. While online sites can be such a distraction, help me to focus on the positive and use those connections for You.

DAY SEVENTEEN

I am thankful for my friends.

I have some of the dearest friends, ever. I don't even know where to start here. So I will start at the beginning.

First, I am thankful for my childhood and high school friends.  My childhood friends and I have known eachother way too long...long enough to be brutally honest. Long enough to go weeks or months without talking, but pick it up right where we left off. Our entire families were at each other's weddings.  We saw eachother through breakups, rumors, and the toughness of adolescence. And we genuinely celebrated when the other one got married, because frankly, we were so happy to see the other one settled down with the perfect man for her.  I am thankful for the history and love I have in these friendships. They offer familiarity, comfort, acceptance, and joy.

 Then there are my college friends whom I hold so dear. Other than a few select childhood friends, this is where deeper, committed friendships started for me. There is such an easiness about these friendships. On the outside, we are an unlikely group. We had different majors, different upbringings, and very different personalities. But we love each other so much. I am so thankful for the late night chats at the Kappa House and for our commitment to reunite on a regular basis. These friends have offered more love an support than I could have ever asked for. Whether it be a quick trip to Tulsa to love on me after our miscarriages, or a long drive to come celebrate a marriage or baby shower; these gals have always been by my side. We have surrounded one another too many times to count and that is so precious to me.

And last but not least are my Tulsa friends. I am so thankful for the network of love and support we have here. These friendships have been so vital to our calling Tulsa "home". We are walking through life together and some of our best conversations are over coffee with 10+ kiddos hanging from the rafters. These friendships are easy too, I often feel as though I have known them forever and I cannot imagine life without them. . We can totally count on one another to watch our kids, bring us a meal when we are sick, or just offer an ear over a glass of wine. We pray together and we laugh together. It is such a cool combination.

Lord, thank you for my wonderful friends. You have truly blessed me with a family of friends to enjoy in life. Thank you for the love you have shown me through these friendships.

DAY SIXTEEN

I am thankful for my parents.

This past weekend we were at my parents house helping them finish out their newly remodeled kitchen. In the midst of their kitchen goodies, I found a card I had written my parents in college. The purpose of the card was to thank them for their love and support over the years. I went on to tell them that I was genuinely happy in life and that I wanted them to know I was happy and healthy thanks to their support and love. As I read the card I realized that it has been years since I told them how thankful I am that I was blessed with parents such as themselves. So, I thought today would be a perfect opportunity to be grateful for their role in my life.


From the time I was young, I never doubted their commitment and love for us girls. In fact, as I look back at our childhood I realize that they were probably too committed to us girls at times. They rarely went away just the two of them, we always went as a family. Birthdays were a special event at our home … complete with good morning balloon bouquets, special birthday breakfasts, and great presents, however their birthdays were always more low-key. They gave us all the fun and joy that they truly deserved. I am so thankful that they made such an effort to make our special occasions memorable.


I am thankful that my parents are still married. This year they will be celebrating 37 years together and while I know their marriage isn’t picture perfect, us girls always had the security of knowing they were committed to making it work. Holidays, birthdays, and even weekdays were spent together as a family unit and we were blessed to experience a life where we were all together.


I am thankful for their support all these years. Whether it was helping me campaign for state office in high school, or attending awards ceremonies at OU, I could always look out and see their proud, smiling faces. They have been so supportive of Jimmy and I as parents. My mom spent many nights with us so we could juggle Pearce’s ‘up all night’ episodes. My dad is always tinkering with something in his garage to bring a smile to Pearce’s face. And they are always just a phone call away if we need a night out or help during the week.


I am thankful that they still take care of us. When they come to visit, my laundry is always clean and folded by my sweet mom. My dishwasher miraculously empties itself, and the counters are always wiped down. And my dad always has his tools in tow just in case there is something he can do to take care of us. Whether it be walking us through ceiling fan installation, or adding more freon to our AC unit, dad is there taking care of his girls. And it’s not that he doesn’t trust his sons-in-law to do it themselves, he just loves to serve us in that way. And frankly, he is a mechanical genius so we have often been saved by his knowledge of all things mechanical.


No matter how great or how tough life has been, my parents are right there with me. And for that, I am thankful.

Lord thank you for blessing me with my parents. Thank you for the wisdom and guidance you instilled upon them as they raised us girls. I thank you for a loving relationship that has been built upon mutual respect for one another.

DAY FIFTEEN

I am thankful for the wisdom of those who came before us.

Sometimes I have no idea of what I am doing. When Jimmy and I first got married I could barely cook. I had little knowledge of how to get stains out of clothes, and I was learning to be a wife and meet my husbands needs. I needed direction and counsel on living life as a married woman. So I turned to the knowledge of others. Whether it be conversations with women I respect or time reading a book on these topics, I am so thankful for the insight they provided.

Life is tough and I do not believe we were created to go at it alone. No, the Lord has better plans for us. He has blessed me with many who provide Godly counsel in my life. I am also thankful for the direction and guidance scripture has offered us.

As we navigate our way through parenthood, we have relied on the wisdom of others often. I spent hours with friends and my mom as I learned how to nurse Pearce. The lactation consultants were programmed into my phone and I read every online article I could find. I specifically remember one day when Pearce was a few months old and I was having breakfast with a group of friends at someone's house. I nursed Pearce for about 15 minutes and he acted like he was done. I remember saying, "He can't be done. He usually nurses for 1.5 to 2 hours."  Screech.... The room came to a stop and my best gals were staring at me wide-eyed. After a brief run down of what is normal and what is not, I learned that sweet Pearce was using me as a pacifier. I was grateful for the guidance because frankly, I thought all little ones were hungry little bulldogs.

We are at a particularly difficult time right now with Pearce. He is two and is Mr. Independent. He is bossy, cranky, disobedient, and just plain crazy at times. But he is also so sweet and obedient at times. When the tantrums take hold, Jimmy and I often stare at each other as we try desperately to figure out which alien abducted our child this time. What is Meanie the Martian? Or Absurd the Alien? Or is this really our child, simply exerting his independence and need to grow?

I am thankful for the guidance of friends and family during this time. I am thankful for the Christian books we refer to when trying to exhibit Godly discipline. And I am thankful for scripture as a point of direction. Simply put, I am so thankful for those who share their wisdom and experiences with us. It makes me feel normal. The fears that I am royally screwing up our child are eased...and I find hope in knowing that millions of others have gone before us. (and lived to tell about it).

So today I am thankful for all of you who offer words of encouragement, advice, and wisdom with us. Thanks for speaking truth into our lives.

Lord, thank you for surrounding us with loving friends and family as we raise Pearce. I pray for continued direction and guidance in raising him to be a boy after Your Own Heart.

DAY FOURTEEN

I am thankful for the ability to work.

Today Emily and I worked our tails off to help my mom organize and decorate their newly remodeled kitchen. We worked for close to 12 hours straight. Having said that, I am tired and need to keep this gratefulness post short.

 I am thankful that I have the physical ability to work. I often complain after an exhausting effort or particularly hard day but I am so grateful that I can work. Not everyone is so lucky. I feel blessed that I have both legs, my arms, and my mind to work hard.

Lord, thank you for giving me a strong body and health that allows me to work hard.

DAY THIRTEEN

I am thankful for the change of seasons.

I love that we live in a place where I get to experience the change of seasons. There is something sort of exciting about a change in temperature, landscape, and time of year. I am often giddy with anticipation as I wait for the change to come.

I am thankful for winter. I love the way cold weather arrives so crisply to our town. One day I am in a light jacket, and the next I need a scarf and coat. I love the smell of winter. Fresh burning fireplaces and cold air from the south are the scents I look to announce winter's arrival. Winter also symbolizes the upcoming holiday season. Christmas's decor is suddenly everywhere and football games feel the way the should. The scent of warm chili fills our home and Nestle hot chocolate makes its way from the back of our pantry.

But after a few months of staying indoors, we are ready for spring. I love the way the trees bloom in our yard. Thunderstorms roll up to our doorstep and nourish the new life around us. Spring means we get to play outside again and hot cocoa is replaced by warm tea. It represents the preview to summer break and kiddos are giddy with "schools out" excitement. Easter is around the corner and the ever important task of finding an Easter outfit begins. I am thankful for the cool, yet sun-warmed days that spring brings.

I am thankful that we get to relish in summer.  Family cookouts and trips to the snow cone stand are frequent in summer. A bowl of ice cream after dinner is totally acceptable and a large glass of ice water quenches at its best during summer. Trips to the pool and kiddos smelling of sunscreen are everywhere you look. And let's not forget how thankful I am to wear flip flops in the summer. I love my Rainbow flip flops and in summer, I wear them every single day. And I make no apologies because it is summer.

I am thankful for fall. I will never understand how the trees change so beautifully in the fall. I like to find the unique colors that only trees can produce. I love the cool, fall breeze and evenings in our driveway while Pearce rides his tricycle. I am thankful for football games with the family and taco soup on a cool evening.I am thankful for the joy that Christmas season brings.  

Lord, thank you for the change in seasons. Thank you for the unique beauty each new season brings and for the little things we look forward to with each change.

DAY TWELVE

I am thankful for my sisters.

Someone once said, "There can be no situation in life in which the conversation of my dear sister will not administer some comfort to me. "

And for me, this quote is a perfect way to describe how I feel about Beth and Emily. They bring such comfort. They bring familiarity. And they bring joy to my heart.

Like many sisters, we didn't always get along. I remember times when Beth and I would get into pinching matches as we fought over Barbies. Emily was the sweet curious one who always wanted to be included, and I often shut my bedroom door to keep her out. And I can certainly remember times when they would join forces as the oldest and youngest, with the pure intent of making my middle sister life miserable. But there is a sweet understanding with sisters. Despite all the crazy and mean things we did to each other in our youth, we grew up. We forgot. We forgave. And we forged an unbreakable bond.

I am thankful for Beth. From the time we were young, she is the maternal one. She is so sensitive to our feelings and allows her heart to hurt right along with you. There are many times when Beth took care of me in our young adult years. I remember one night in college when I was stressed and crying about an accounting test I had the next day. Beth insisted I leave the Kappa house and come stay with her. When I arrived, she had a bubble bath ready for me and encouraged me through my studying. That is so Beth. She was in the delivery room the day Pearce was born and cheered me on as I worked through the most important, yet exhausting thing I had ever done. She loved on Pearce in the wee hours of the morning so I could get some much needed sleep. And she is always ready to help in any way she can. She has always taken care of me.

I am thankful for Emily. At some point during our adolescence, Emily went from the sweet and unsure youngest sister to the disciplined, wise one after God's own heart. She is the one who speaks truth in my life, especially when I don't want to hear it. And she is loyal. After our first miscarriage, Emily was on summer break from her teaching in Texas. She came and stayed a week with us to care for Pearce, and to provide love and laughter during a difficult time. That meant more to Jimmy and me than we could ever express.  She genuine in her celebrations and compliments and can boost my mood or self esteem with a simple word of encouragement. And Emily is wonderful with Pearce. I often call her for teacher advice on how to redirect Pearce or respond to some new phase we encounter. She has always been an encouragement .

I am thankful for the fun we have together. We could be in the middle of a 12 hour session of watching paint dry, and have the time of our lives. They make everything better. We are often the loud family at restaurants that laughs so obnoxiously loud, we turn heads. And we totally don't care. Because we are having a fabulous time and would be happy to welcome anyone who wanted to join in our odd and often inappropriate humor. Our husbands are still trying to figure out what it means to be a man in the "Watkins" side of the family. Bless their hearts, all three of our husbands grew up with one brother. You can imagine their whiplash and shock in marrying into our crew.

But I love it. I wouldn't change one thing about our relationship. Okay, maybe one: I wish we all lived down the street from each other so our kiddos could grow up and love one another the way we love each other.

Lord, thank you for the love You have shown me through my sisters. Thank you for blessing our relationship with love, laughter, and genuine friendship. We are truly blessed to have each other.

DAY ELEVEN

I am thankful for grace.

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,

so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Hebrews 4:16 

 

I use the word grace quite a bit in my day to day activities, yet if someone asked me to define grace, I would probably stumble around it similar to the way I do when I try to convince myself that I can name all the NFL teams. It ain't happening with 100% certainty.  So I looked it up and here is what I found:

Definition of GRACE :
a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification
b : a virtue coming from God
c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace
 
The word that totally caught my eye was the word "unmerited" because that is how I can relate to grace. I am unworthy, yet His cup overflows. I struggle with the concept of grace quite a bit. I am often grappling with the reality that I have been forgiven, yet I am unworthy. In fact, I sometimes wonder, "can my heart get so bad that my salvation is lost?". And the answer is no, because frankly, my heart wasn't worthy to begin with...not to mention the fact that my efforts to constantly be found worthy completely undermine the purpose of grace. So today rather than worry about my worthiness of grace, I choose to be thankful.
 
I am so thankful for God's grace in my life. I have been hateful, hurtful, judgemental, selfish, angry, ungrateful, doubting, controlling, and the list could go on and on. To put it in one word: I am broken.
 
But I am forgiven.
 
And it is grace that makes me whole again. I cannot earn it, I cannot control it, and I cannot eliminate it from my life. (Thank goodness for that because I have a tendency to do a pretty lousy job of deserving the grace that is so freely given.) I would like to say that I never take grace for granted, but honestly? I do sometimes. And for that I am sorry.
 
I am so thankful that we have the promise of grace. While it doesn't give me a green light to do whatever I want, it certainly gives me hope and peace to know that our God loves us despite our faults and sinful hearts. It gives me courage during difficult times. Life has been tough but God's grace has been enough. What an awesome promise.
 
Lord, thank you for grace. Whether it is through your forgiveness of our sins or providing grace and mercy during tough times, You are always good. Thank you for loving my unlovable heart.

DAY TEN

I am thankful for cameras.

The Christmas pic that rocked the world.

This weekend Jimmy and I watched Toy Story 3 with Pearce. We didn’t get to finish the movie with him as he is like most two year olds: distracted. So after Little Britches went to bed, we decided to watch the rest. And you know what? We both cried.

We were so touched by the end scenes when Andy is going off to college and his mom hugs him, and says, “…I wish I could always be with you.” Because that is totally how we feel about Pearce. We are enamored with this little kid and my heart physically aches at the thought of Pearce going off to kindergarten, high school, and then college. I wish I could always be with Pearce. I feel like we simply blinked, and he grew right before our eyes. While I try my best to document and remember the charming things Pearce says, I know these things will not stay with me forever. And that’s okay… because some day we will be able to look back on the precious memories of raising our boy. And while we may not remember every specific detail about every single cute incident, we will remember the feelings those incidents provoked.

My first time holding Pearce.

And for many of those memorable times, we will have pictures to smile at. What a blessing.

Pearce's first snow.

 

I am so thankful that we live in a time when taking pictures of our families is so easy. I have a tendency to leave my camera on our kitchen counter - just in case. Just in case Pearce does something I cannot afford to forget, in case he smiles his perfect little “I know something you don’t know” smile, and in case I am given the opportunity to capture a moment in this crazy thing we call ‘life’. I often forget how lucky I am to have a great camera at my fingertips.

I will never forget how happy he was here!

So I can remember his outstanding "bed head".

We have thousands of pictures and those images are more than just pictures to us. They are moments of our life together … documented in a crazy and mis-matched sort of manner. I love that. I look at our pictures often and they always bring a smile to my face. I can close my eyes and drift back to the moment those images were taken. Often times, I swear it almost feels as though I am traveling back in time and I never wanna leave.



Reading his Bible with a potty on his head.

 I don’t have a perfect album. I don’t have scrapbooks. And I don’t have a detailed journal of all the wonderful things Pearce says and does. But I have pictures. And I am so grateful.

His sweet smile.

Lord, thank you for your creativity and for blessing the minds of those who created cameras and film. Thank you for all the wonderful moments we try desperately to capture. You are so good.

DAY NINE

I am thankful for caregivers.

This morning I worked the nursery at church and got to be with the cutie 'walkers' class. It was so sweet to watch how happy and joyful the sweeties were during class. They played, we sang, had a snack, we colored, and then we had a Bible story. As I sat there with the little ones, I began to realize how cool it is that we are showing them the love of Christ at such a young age. It made me think about all the Sundays I nonchalantly drop Pearce off at Sunday School so Jimmy and I can go to church. I totally take that opportunity for granted so today I want to be thankful for all the caregivers out there.

I am thankful for Miss Sheron. On weekdays when I work, we take Pearce to her home and he is so happy there. I love that she cares enough to add an extra special touch to each day. Pearce looks forward to visits from the Music Lady, the Firemen, and the Tumblebus. She genuinely loves the kiddo and I love how secure he feels there. She is like a nana to him and I feel blessed to have found her. No matter how much a mom loves her job, leaving your kiddo during the day is difficult. Knowing that Pearce is being loved on and cared for makes my days at work so much easier.

I am thankful that we have family members who love to keep Pearce. Their generosity has afforded Jimmy and I date nights and much needed weekends away. I love that Pearce gets to spend time with his extended family and gets to be with them on a regular basis. I remember when Pearce was a newborn my mom and sisters would insist that they get up with Pearce during the night so I could get some solid sleep and so they could have alone time with him. Those nights were so precious to me and it warmed my hear that they loved Pearce that much. It truly takes a village to raise a child and I am grateful for our village of family members.

I am grateful for all the volunteers and staff members at church. Each Sunday Jimmy and I have the privilege of attending church and Sunday School together. Some weeks, that is our only opportunity for quiet time together. I am thankful that we can leave Pearce in the little toddler class and know that he is being loved on, played with, and cared for. We seriously treasure our Sundays at church and I am so grateful for those that care for Pearce.

Thank you Jesus for blessing us with wonderful caregivers. Whether it's during the week, on Sundays, or time with family you have always provided someone special to love on our boy. Thank you for that.

DAY EIGHT

I am thankful for the comforts of home.

In the midst of all that life brings, isn't it wonderful to have a place called home? A place where you can be yourself, walk around in your torn up Gap PJ pants, and strut your ever-so-wonderful bed head. I love home and I am so grateful for the comfort I find in our home.

Last night Jimmy and I flipped our mattress and put on clean sheets. It was nice and cold in our room so I was eager to jump into bed. After a few minutes of swooshing my feet around the sheets to warm them, I was settled. The newly flipped mattress was an amazing comfort and I sort of felt like I was laying on a cloud or something. (not exaggerating about that one). Anyhow, as I lay there in my cozy bed I began to think about those who don't have it so good. All too often, I am blissfully unaware of the reality that so many go without...but last night I was acutely aware.

And I was grateful.

I began to think about all material and comfortable things I take for granted and thought they would be a perfect topic for today's post.

I am grateful for clean sheet day. I love the feeling of crisp, clean sheets on my toes.

I am grateful for a hot shower on a cold day. I feel blessed that showering is a commodity I get to enjoy daily.

I am thankful for our soft leather couch and the warm sweatshirt blanket I have to wrap up in. They make movies that much more enjoyable.

I am thankful for our vacuum and the way I can simply make a spill or dirt track disappear. Life is so easy sometimes.

I am thankful for our air conditioner and heater. Because no matter what the weather is doing outside, we are comfortable and that is something to be grateful for.

I am thankful for the space we enjoy in our home. I love that Pearce has his own little room where he knows he belongs. We have places where we spend family time, and of course places to play. It is so nice to have space for each of us.

I am thankful for our fridge that we are able to keep full of food to nourish our family. We are blessed to always have enough.

I am thankful for the laundry that I often dread folding. Because clean laundry means we have clothes on our backs...and the luxury of a machine to wash and dry them for us.

There are a million other things I could list off, but these are the ones that stand out right now. Sometimes when my friends and I get together we all like to sit and gab about all the frustrations of keeping a house, doing laundry, cooking, etc. I don't know that I have a right to complain anymore. Because isn't it enough that we have a house? Or better yet, a home?

Lord, thank you for the blessing of our home. Thank you for simple things like a bed to sleep in, a roof over our head, and food to eat. You are our Provider and I am so thankful for all Your hand has given us.



DAY SEVEN

I am thankful for the medical profession.

Last night was a rough night at the Brann household. In fact, it reminded me of the sleepless nights here, circa 2008. It all started at 11:30 - ish and just went downhill from there. Jimmy and I rotated shifts with Pearce all stinking night long. And to make the evening more fun? I never went to sleep before that.  I am a firm believer in early bedtimes. I love to look at the clock and know that I have 10 hours of shut eye to relish. But last night I was wired and decided to watch Glee...until 11pm.

Fast  forward to 4 am and a couple of desperate parents. I did something I have never done and will probably never do again ... I put Pearce in bed with us. Gasp! But at this point, I was convinced my head might fall straight off my body if I didn't get some rest so I figured some 'rules' just need to be broken. An hour later I woke up to a little person kicking me. crying for his stick, and a wet sheet. Hummm. Pearce's beloved drumstick had gracefully fallen under our bed and Pearce's "guaranteed" overnight diaper had leaked...all over my side of the bed. Needless to say, our sheets are in the washer and I am a walking sleep study. 

Anyhow, I tell this story because last night as I laid in bed praying that Pearce would go to sleep, I was also so eager for morning to come so I could call the doctor. Pearce likes to sleep just as much as his mama and I knew our boy was not well. After a same-day appointment victory, we learned the sweetie has an ear infection...in both ears. Lovely. So I high-tailed it to Walgreen's for our antibiotic and as i sat there in the car, I was overcome with relief and hope in knowing that the medication would soon be healing our boy, and also our sleepless nights. Again, I take this for granted but we are so blessed!

I am so grateful for God's healing through the miracle of modern-day medicine.

Sweet Harper is home now... still weeks before her actual due date. I believe that the Lord carried her into this world and strategically placed the right doctors and nurses in her life to care for her. That is so cool.

I have been struggling with depression lately and while I don't believe in masking an illness, I am so grateful for the assistance medication has provided us. My doctor insisted I be on Zoloft to get through this season if our lives and I am so glad he did.

I feel blessed that we live in a time and place when we can call the doctor, go to the ER, or visit an after hours clinic when something is just not right. And most of the time, we leave with a solution to our ailment. I am thankful for that.

I am not sure that I put this as eloquently or clearly as I would like, however Pearce is napping and I plan to snooze some as well. Here's to sleeping again...

Lord, thank you for equipping those in the medical profession with the minds and ability to diagnose and treat our earthly illnesses. We recognize that any healing is from you and I thank you for the avenue we have in the medical profession.

DAY SIX

I am thankful for the Word of God.

It’s funny how something as major as the Word of God can become commonplace in our lives. I would like the think that if God were to speak in a booming voice for all the world to hear, we would listen, right? So why is it that His written, divinely inspired Word is so easily overlooked? I don’t get it and I am just as guilty as the next guy. Often times, I feel like we treat His truth as some sort of collection of inspirational quotes instead of what Scripture really is: A collection of letters, accounts, and stories that were lovingly crafted by our God through divine inspiration. Our home is decorated with a series of signs, picture frames, and hand written Bible verses that I often glance over in my day to day activities. But when I stop and take a moment to mediate on the Truth in front of me, I am so grateful for His Word in my life.


There is a Bible verse that has literally been on our refrigerator since the day we found out we were pregnant with Pearce. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was really worried about the health of our surprise baby. To be honest, I was also a little scared and unnerved at the thought of becoming a mother before we were “ready”. I woke up one morning and Jimmy had posted this sweet verse on our fridge for me to see. I never took it down and when we moved homes and got a new fridge, the verse came with me. Even today, the truth Jimmy took the time to share with me brings me an immense amount of comfort and peace. I am so grateful for that.

I am also thankful for scripture because we live in such a jaded time. Frankly, between reality television, my magazine subscriptions, and the news; it is so easy for me to forget what matters. These are the times when I desperately need the promises God gives us as His children. I believe those moments are the precise moments the Lord knew I would need truth spoken over my life…and those truths are precious. My Savior has something to say … to me. I know you all know what I am talking about when I say there have been numerous times in my life when I read scripture and it speaks so directly to my heart, I would swear that God was standing there saying it to me Himself. How dear is that? We have a God who cares enough to speak to our individual hearts, despite our unique personal circumstances!


I am also grateful for the simple Bible stories we get to share with sweet Pearce. For awhile we were a little concerned, as Pearce thought Noah was Santa and would squeal “Santa!” with delight each time we saw Noah in a book or on a toy. He has since decided all bearded mean are either Jesus or Noah, so we are making some progress. A few weeks we were at Zio’s and there was a painting of an Italian man on the wall. Pearce was so proud of himself as he pointed and yelled, “Look Mama! Jesus!”


But in all seriousness, I love that scripture is easy enough for even little minds to understand. Pearce knows that Noah was obedient and we often try and remind him of that obedience when we are in the middle of a toddler throw down. He knows that David and Goliath fought, and that David trusted God. He knows Jesus loves him and that is so amazing! I mean, the kiddo doesn’t even use the potty yet but he is able to grasp that someone named Jesus loves him…awesome. I am grateful for the wisdom of scripture and I am thankful that these truths will follow Pearce through life.

As Jimmy and I navigate marriage, parenthood, family, and friendships, scripture is often the place we find direction and peace. I love that God covered everything we could possibly need clarity on during our time on this earth. I am grateful for the promises of God’s Word. I am grateful for the peace and hope it brings me in times of hurt and sadness. I am grateful for the truth we can turn to when questions arise.


And on the note of Noah and his ark, I have to share this story:


A few nights ago Pearce was doing a Noah’s Ark sticker collage. Jimmy and I looked over and saw that he had strategically placed Noah and his wife holding hands in front of the ark. Yesterday I asked him what they were doing and he said, “Holding hands. Like this…” and he reached over and took my hand. So stinking sweet.

Thank you God for giving us encouragement, direction, and hope through the Bible. Thank you for speaking to me through your Word

DAY FIVE

I am thankful for board games.

Last night Jimmy and I played three rounds of Uno and for the record, I won. I find that we spend quite a bit of time playing board games and I am so thankful we have them to enjoy. I know the mere mention of board games as something I am thankful for may raise some eyebrows, however let me explain myself.

Board games represent so much more than the object of the game and the game pieces they contain. They represent togetherness. They represent intentionality in spending time with someone you love. They represent simpler times when TV and the Internet weren’t so distracting. They afford the opportunity to laugh…the kind of laugh that hurts your abs but you totally don’t want to stop. And for me, they always represent wonderful memories with family and friends.

When I really think about it, I suppose board games have been an integral part of my adult life. For starters, Jimmy and I feel in love over Yahtzee and Uno when we were dating. I remember he would come over to the Kappa house and we would play games together in the dining room while we sipped our Classic 50’s beverages. We would laugh for hours on end as one of us always seemed to dominate the other’s performance. I suppose we could have been out doing much cooler things together, however this quality time together gave us the opportunity to know one another on a deeper level. I am also so grateful for the innocence that board games helped Jimmy and I establish while dating.


We also told my parents we were pregnant with Pearce over a game of CLUE. Beth and Blake already knew we were expecting so they helped us devise a perfect scheme to announce our news. We staged the game so that my mom or dad would win the game, and in the “confidential” envelope, we placed three cards reading: 1. Brooke and Jimmy 2. Are 3. Pregnant. I will never forget the look on my mother’s face as she read the cards out loud. Those pictures are some of my favorites to this day.

And I am so grateful for the laughter and memories made while playing board games with my sisters and brothers in law. Seriously, when we are all home together one of the first items of business is to establish set game nights. We all get into our PJ’s, pop some popcorn and get started playing. My parents usually sit in the adjacent living room and relish in the joy and laughter they hear coming from the dining room table. I suppose that is what every parent hopes for: a day when their children truly enjoy being together. As the night continues, we chow down on cookies and candy, while sipping beer until the wee hours of the morning. For months we will recall the hysteria and laughter that those game nights produced. And win or lose, we all walk away with a funny story to think back on one day. I am so thankful for board games, because without them, we might have missed out on a number of memories and opportunities for laughter.


Lord thank you for blessing our home with laughter and for the joy we find in playing these simple games together.